Friday, August 1, 2008

First Post

I think people generally try to justify the existence of their blogs the first time they post, but I don't really have a reason for starting this thing other than that I'm bored and I like to procrastinate. Also, just to get this out of the way, I hate the word “blog.”

The past couple of weeks have allowed me to do pretty much nothing of importance aside from a couple of days spent collaborating with some other physics people in preparation for next semester's class. I did have a great dream last night though. It was one of those dreams where you wake up and feel like you've accomplished something of extreme importance or done something really significant. This time, I saved the president.

I was head of the secret service, and found myself in the oval office with the president and vice president. Neither were actual presidents, just people who looked vaguely presidential, like something you'd see in a movie.

“Clearly the threat is of no importance,” the vice president said. As I looked at him, I saw a black shadow surround his figure and his eyes glow a faint red. Clearly this man was not to be trusted.

“We need to evacuate now,” the president screamed as he pounded his fist on the desk.

“You're right Mr. President,” I replied. “We've no more time to waste.” I grabbed him by the arm and hustled him up a staircase to the roof.

I looked to the sky and saw the trail of an incoming missile. It was headed straight for the White House. “It's approaching quickly, sir! We'll have to hurry,” I shouted. Thankfully, a helicopter was waiting for us. We jumped into the tiny cockpit.

“Get this thing in the air, now!” I shouted at the pilot as he struggled with the controls. The blades of the helicopter spun slowly, and the helicopter moved horizontally towards the edge of the roof.

“We can't take off! If we move off the edge, we'll fall and crash! It takes 0.14 seconds once we leave solid ground before we can get into the air.”

I made a quick calculation in my head. “That's exactly how long we'll have in free fall. Get this thing moving.” I grabbed the controls from the timid pilot and drove the helicopter off the roof. We lurched downward and I glanced out of the door to see the ground quickly approaching. My faith in physics outweighed any fear I felt, but did nothing to stifle the screams of the cowardly pilot. Just as we were about to crash, the helicopter soared upward above D.C.. I saw the incoming missile streak underneath us and fly directly into the oval office's window. The whole building exploded in an immense ball of fire, taking the treacherous vice president straight to hell.

“I suppose I should thank you,” the president said to me.

“There's no need sir,” I replied. “It's all in a day's work.”


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